Song Lyric Analysis

I only went and fucking did it
Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it
Weren't even writing raps I was down and out about to fucking quit it
Lucky for me that I fucking didn't
See lily came along when I was at my lowest (Lily could be a girl that came along or he could be referring to the slang word for money used in London 'lily' or more commonly known as 'Lizzy'. Implying money and success came to him at the right time.)
Selling wraps of coke not the raps I flow with
I made it and I owe it to a chat I had with her,(confirms that he is referring to a lady)
Who knows where I'd be if that chat hadn't occurred
Back with the bag, with the bag full of herbs init (without her he'd still be selling drugs)
Instead I got upon on a track and I murdered it
My name started causing murmurs in the industry
But none of these labels would work with it until virgin did (referring to the day Virgin Records signed him)
Put my first single out and we earned a hit
That's why we never...
I know it must burn a bit
Just did a show and everybody knew the words to it
The day I risked everything for I couldn't have given anything more all these years have weighed heavy
But this is something that nothing could have readied me for
What you think all my problems are remedied cos' I get an applause, there not (all the fame and money isn't as perfect as it seems to the fans)

Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know why x2

My single went in at 3 (referring to his debut single "I need you tonight" which was his introduction to the public eye)
My album went in at 2
For a debut not to shabby if I have to I make do
Finally some form of reward for the things I came through
But it's different to the perfect picture people paint you (all the rewards from fame our not as great as they seem)
On the way up you might be a person people take to
Then you break through and the same people who rated you hate too (referring to fans who turned their back on him and began to hate him once he made it)
All of a sudden anything you do may do may make news
And I'm sick to death of explaining was is and aint' true (the tabloids and gossip always has to be explained, it clearly effect him)
Spend a day in my shoes and maybe you would feel the same too
Though I know I've got to make the most of it there will be no take 2
And ungrateful I would hate to seem cos' I'm leaving my dream now (sarcasm at how we will convince him he's living his dream)
But I don't sleep now
And all the hours awake are making me senile
Snap every time I see now
Even people I've been round my whole life are looking at me like I'm a new me now (paranoia and depression has lead his friends to question him)
They say I've changed but I just don't see how
I've always lived my life taking corners that I can't see round
Never knowing what it is I'm trying to seek out
But I'm even beginning to question me now (self explanatory conclusion)

Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know why (don't know why I cried)

I know it must seem mad to you
It's mad to me
All I've done is what I've had to do
Been who I've had to be
But the path I've walked has been so gravely
It's been a strain to remain humane amongst all this inhumanity (his surroundings, his life is described as inhumane, and he is the humain one. He clearly feels unconfortable and the unusual life of a celebrity in the spot light)
Thankfully I had a nan who was a mum and dad to me (he had someone in his life who was a role model, implying his parents weren't there for him)
You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family
Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy (he has become a custom to his constant sadness)
It's so sad isn't it, stick your sympathy it means jack to me (mimicking something that he has probably heard alot of times by fans, psychiatrist etc.)
Sick of hearing how happy I should be
I just don't know how to be
I can no longer pretend
No more making out to be
Maybe all I need's a slap,
Someone to shake it out of me
Help me to spell my irrational thoughts and think more rationally
Sick of being in the state of vanity
It's agony
Am I torn or is it all some twisted form of vanity(he questions who he really is, this song is a reflection and self-evaluation of his life at this moment in time)
Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself, obsessive compulsive depressed, my pressures reflecting my health
Taking care of my career but I'm neglecting myself
Rejected therapy no I just won't except any help
I pride myself on my honestly but in all honestly today I lied
I was asked how I was and I said I was fine, I'm not (if he's lying to himself, he believes there must be something wrong with himself)

Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know why x3